Gravestone of Two Lovers
by 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7
Summary: Bella gets changed by Victoria about a week after Edward leaves. 77 years later she gets back to Forks only to find a mysterious person laying flowers on her grave. Is Edward still alive? is it him? find out. i am bad at summaries. better than it sounds
1. I Hate Flowers

Gravestone of Two Lovers

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or anything that goes with that. I only own the idea for this story.**

**This is after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon, and Eclipse and Breaking Dawn did not happen. Thanks to my Beta AliceDianaBrenner for reviewing a third of this for me. I did most of the editing solo this time so hopefully it will not be too bad. The first chapter of my story does not have dialogue, and I know that I really do not like reading a story that goes on forever without dialogue, but I promise that this was necessary and if you don't read all of it, you will not be able to understand a lot of my story. Hopefully there will be dialogue in the 2****nd**** 2.**

Chapter 1- I Hate Flowers

BPOV-

It's been 77 years since I was turned. 77 long, painful, useless years. After denying my thirst like Carlisle, mourning the loss of my boy, my love, the only thing worth living for like Esme, curling up in a ball like being mauled and sliced open by a bear like Emmett, and a furious desire to be under a gravestone right now like Rosalie wanted to be. Jasper would be in extreme pain if he was near me now, he would feel all the suffering I felt so greatly.

The other names, the names of the other vampires I loved, were too painful for me to speak, let alone think. It would make my life – no, I had no life now – existence much more painful.

But now I was in my old home from when I was human. Police Chief Charlie Swan's house had never been owned by another soul, he had been so grief ridden by the untimely death of his precious daughter, Isabella Marie Swan, until now. Isabella had been murdered seven days after her heart had been ripped out and torn to shreds (figuratively) after her beloved abandoned her.

Nobody knew who killed her because her throat had been ripped out viciously and her head mauled. There had been no marks as to who or what had been the killer. But I had not died, I had been turned. Turned into what had been my past's most deepest desire, but was now the most extreme torture to me.

One lifetime without him was not enough for her, Victoria. My whole existence had to be without him. I was completely and utterly miserable. Of course, I had killed her for subjecting me to this torment, but I could not bring myself to kill myself and put myself out of this world that had become my Hell on Earth.

_He_ had told me hundreds of lies, but what if one of those lies actually meant something? What if he really could not live in a world where I did not exist? I knew I really shouldn't care no matter what, and I should hate him with every part of my soul, and in some ways I truly despised him, but my heart, even though it has been cold and silent for 77 long years, still belongs to him. I was also silly, but no matter how silly I was, I will never give up on my argument with him. Vampires have souls, no matter what he says. I even believe that I have a soul, though my soul is dark and empty because of all my pain and loss. My soul now owns my old house, in my old town of Forks, where I had lost everything. I have had this conversation over and over again every day in my head for fifty years, and I have finally started to move on, or start a new life, to the very best of my very poor abilities.

With a soft rustle of wind, I was out the door and in front of my own gravestone in 7 seconds **(A/N I have a thing for the number 7- on with the story). **How I always wished that I could be in the earth right now. I could be resting, though I know not peacefully because of the pain I was in when I supposedly died. But I am still in pain, and just like Victoria wanted, I will be in pain for the rest of my worthless existence. This is the third time I have visited my grave since I came back to Forks, and again there were those beautiful flowers on my grave. I hated them. I hated the fact that people still mourned over me. I wanted to be forgotten. I hated it that people still cared about me when I didn't care about myself. Even though, I felt anger and sadness, I still felt a little hope. Not enough for me to give up everything I had just built back. If I opened myself up to all the hope I could feel building in me, I would be worse than the walking dead, since vampires are technically dead.

I looked around me carefully, and used my extra hearing to make sure no one was around me. I thought I sensed a presence in the woods behind me, but my subconscious told me not to worry- it is nothing to worry about. I bent down to the flowers and pressed my hand against them. I released some of my pain into the flowers and they wilted and became brown and dead.

My power is being able to take pain away from any living thing, but more specifically people. I did not have to have contact with them to do it, but I did have to be within seeing distance. My power was two sided, meaning that I could also give pain to living things, but I had to touch them to actually give them pain. I had to want to take or give pain for my power to work, but that just made my worthless existence a little bit easier, when I did not have to worry about controlling an already tame power.

The wind started to blow lightly and some of those dead flowers, that were no longer pretty, turned to dust and went with the wind. That was when I caught it. That sweet, sweet scent. The scent that always came with the beautiful flowers that were always on my grave. It was never strong enough for that person to still be around, but just an extra scent that came with the flowers.

This time it came with the wind, and it rode the wind like it was a knight, and the wind was its trusty steed. This scent was more concrete. I could feel that the dreaded person was close, and no doubted coming here. I knew I had to leave before I was spotted, but for some reason my feet stayed rooted to the spot. Took a deep breath, trying to regain control over myself, and that wonderful scent started caressing my face. For the first time in 77 years, I felt whole again. It was like I found a little piece of my old heaven, right in the middle of my personal hell.

I stopped breathing altogether. Was this how _he_ felt? When I _had _been in his life? Was this what the scent of my blood _had_ felt like to _him_? But I knew it was nothing like that. My throat did not burst into flames like it first did when I was turned. But this was different. This was not blood that was calling to me, but it was the scent of a vampire. The thought was like a shock to my system. My breathing spiked and I knew that if I was still human, my heart would be beating, that now unfamiliar, jointed rhythm. But I was not human anymore, and even thinking like that was crazy.

Then I heard footsteps, and my head whipped around to look at the source of the noise. I froze like a deer caught in headlights, then I ran. I ran as fast as my legs could, not knowing where I was going, and not caring either. I eventually collapsed and let my dry sobs shake my body fiercely.

I was on my knees bending over the Sol Duc River **(A/N the river near the Cullen's house** **I do not have my book)** clutching my chest. I did not know why my legs brought me here, but I did not care right now, and I doubted that I would care ever again as my body heaved more dry sobs. For now I was pouring my heart out into this calm memorable river.

**Thanks to everyone who read this, and stuck through it. I really do not know what to think of it, so please review. Any kind of comment is appreciated.**

**Thanks,**

**7HSVO7**


	2. My Last Gift

**Disclaimer: i do not own twilight and all of that.**

Chapter 2- My Last Gift

EPOV-

I was waiting in the woods with my anger so fierce, it felt like it was burning me alive. How could anyone be so cruel to tarnish the only beautiful gift that I can give my beautiful, soft, caring, warm, loving, oversensitive Bella now?

Even dead she was the only thing that stopped me from killing myself. I had tried to kill myself at first, but I knew it would never work. I remember the day as though it were yesterday and not at all those years ago.

_Flashback_

I don't know where I was, because I ran hard and I ran fast after speaking to my family for what I hoped would be the last time for a couple of months. I had planned to check in with them every couple of months, but I could never stay with them for more than a few hours, because I was useless, and my thoughts tortured Jasper to the point where he could not be around me at all.

So I was curled up in a ball in the middle of, 'I don't care', savoring the memories that I had of my sweet Bella, her warm smile, the intuitive flare in her eyes, the feel of her in my arms, the feel of her soft lips on mine, then I was pulled out of my memories, by my cell phone ringing. I opened my eyes with a feeling of frustration, and then shock. I was cradling and kissing a tree that I must have pulled from the ground. I quickly threw it away, and then flipped my phone open.

"What?" I barked into it. I didn't know who it was, but I didn't care. I told them to only call if there was an emergency, and I was only gone for a little over a week,

"Well that's not very…"

"Nice. I know Alice. Now what is it?"

"You need to come home now!" I could hear her voice breaking.

"Why?"

"Because I have news that I can't tell you over the phone you idiot. Now pick your sorry self up and get to our home in Fork's now!" She screamed at me in her high pitched voice. I could hear dry sobs coming from her end of the phone.

"Alice. Is everything alright?" I said trying to make my voice as gentle as I possibly could, hoping to sooth her.

"No." she replied crisply.

I sighed exasperated, "Fine. I'll meet you in about…"

"45 minutes." She cut me off. "I'd say hurry, but I know you will already."

"I hate it when you do that." I replied while getting to my feet.

I heard her tinkling laughter, though it sounded halfhearted. It was as if she were answering my thoughts, she said, "Why were you kissing a tree?"

With the question I heard a chorus of "He was what?!" and then the maniac laughing in the background.

It sounded a little forced, but that didn't stop me from growling into the phone, which just made them laugh harder, and snap the phone shut. I scowled at the phone in my hand for a couple of seconds before I roughly stuffed it into my pocket and took off running. It didn't take me long to figure out where I was and then I put on even more speed, which was quite an amazing feat considering I was already running faster than I had ever run before, because even though I left Bella for her own good, I was dying to check up on my angel and make sure she was safe.

Like Alice said, I was home in 45 minutes, but I could tell immediately that something was wrong. I could tell it was worse than Alice made it sound over the phone. I was frustrated when the moment I stopped in front of the door; I was yanked through and was being hugged from all sides. Everyone was dry sobbing and hiding their thoughts from me, even Rosalie wasn't thinking about how pretty she was at the moment. When Rosalie wasn't thinking about herself, then something was seriously wrong.

I was about to shout, I was about to demand them to tell me what's wrong when I glimpsed Alice's face. Suddenly I was terrified. My whole body went colder than cold. It was like I was death itself. I pulled her into my arms and we dry sobbed together while she released her thoughts to me, and her latest vision that would decide if I was going to live or die.

_"The whole town of Forks was in the cemetery. There was an assembly line, and everyone stepped to a side to create a path so a coffin could be carried to a freshly dug grave. I could see Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley holding each other tightly as they cried and then next to them was Ben Cheney and Angela Webber who were also holding each other and crying hard. Eric Yorkie was there in the back with his nose running and his skin looking even unhealthier. At the head of the coffin were Police Chief Charlie Swan and Jacob Black their eyes red and bloodshot. The rest of the pack was at the back of the assembly line. Everyone was crying so hard…"_ I couldn't bear to watch anymore.

My whole body was shaking and Alice who was still enfolded in my unbreakable grasp was shaking with me. I knew who it was but I had to ask anyway, "Alice," I said my normally flawless voice cracking and shaking with so many emotions, "please, please tell me that wasn't…"

"I wasn't looking for Bella. I swear, but the whole town of Forks and almost all of La Push had the same path. It was unlike anything I had ever seen or felt," her voice wavered as her dry sobs still wracked through her body, "they were all going to her funeral. Bella's dead," Alice's voice cracked on the last word, and her body shook even harder.

I was frozen and didn't notice Alice gently slip out of my arms and into Jasper's. My whole body went limp, and then she thought the information that I needed to know, "The funeral is going on in one hour. She died yesterday and they worked over night preparing her funeral. Charlie wouldn't let anyone rest until everything was ready. He had the grave dug over night. She was killed by an animal. She was wounded so much that they could barely even recognize her body."

I was out the door before anything else could be said.

I had to be there for Bella.

I had completely lost my mind, but no one tried to stop me. I picked up some red and blue roses on my way to the cemetery as what I hoped to be my last gift to her. I arrived into the vision Alice had pictured. Nothing had changed except for the fact that I was there. I looked around and noticed the rest of my family in the shadows crying silently.

Not even the pack realized we were there because everyone was mourning for my Bella. My sweet, sweet angel...

I was going to be joining her soon. I could smell her blood through the coffin. It was undoubtedly her. My angel was going back to where she had come from, and as the coffin was lowered, I threw my flowers and heart into the grave to be buried with her for the rest of eternity.

No one noticed my family or I and as the last bit of dirt was thrown into the coffin; we all sunk further into the shadows and returned home. I was only home temporarily though, for I had no intention of living for much longer.

"Jasper and Emmett. Could you come here please?" I said in a strangled tone still standing by the doorway.

"No," I heard them say together as they both materialized in front of me.

"We know what you want," said jasper calmly, "and we will not kill you."

"For Bella," said Emmett in a clear, firm, and totally un-Emmett like tone, "she wouldn't want you to.

I didn't argue with them. I just took off running back to the cemetery. When I entered the graveyard moments later, and saw Bella's gravestone, all my plans crumbled. I had to protect my angel. She would rest peacefully.

I would watch over her for the rest of my eternity.

That was the first night I put the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I could find on her grave. The most beautiful flowers for the most beautiful girl that will never be forgotten...

_End Flashback_

I had another bouquet of freesia and roses in my grasp. I would place them on her grave again as I have done three times a day for the past 77 years, but this time I would also stop the person that has just started killing the flowers I lay out for Bella. I will not let her grave be disturbed. Then I heard someone running. By the footfalls I could tell it was a vampire. I kept my eyes trained on my angel's grave, and then she appeared out of know where.

A vampire with long flowing brown hair. She was simply dressed in a pair of loose jeans, a long sleeved white pull-over, and a pair of blue flats. She did not have the stance of a vampire who drank human blood. She looked small and fragile but very graceful. Her back was to me so I could not see her face.

Then she turned her head to her left and right and then right at me and her eyes paused her scanning as if she knew I was there. But I was not worried about her finding me or attacking me. I was frozen with shock and I could not move. My body had completely shut down as I took the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in with my eyes. I could not even gasp with shock. It was as if only my eyes worked as they watched her turn back to the grave.

I watched as she reached one hand out, and touch the beautiful flowers I had laid down for her. They died the moment she touched them.

I couldn't take it anymore, and the wind started to blow as I took my first step towards my beautiful angel. My body finally turning on again, I put my foot down for the first step and then when my foot made contact with the ground, her head whipped around, and I saw her flaring her nostrils as she smelt my scent glide toward her in the wind. Then we both froze as our eyes met boring into each other.

Then she was gone.

I could hear her light footfalls getting farther and farther away from me as she ran. I ran to her grave, placed down the flowers I had in my hand, and then I collapsed as my body shook fiercly with my dry sobs, as the shock and hurt and impossibility of it all took over me.

BPOV-

My shaking body eventually calmed enough for me to really take a look at my reflection. I was a mess. My appearance was more beautiful than it ever was when I was human, but my midnight blue eyes showed my messed up soul.

My midnight blue eyes made me different from other vampires. I was not like the ones that drank human blood and had crimson eyes, or like the vampires that drank only animal blood and had gold eyes like my previous vampire family when I was human.

I didn't drink blood. It was not that my body didn't crave for blood at first, but I refused to drink it. I was repelled by the idea of drinking blood when I was a human and now I was even more against it, because it was what sustained vampires and I wanted to be dead. But I don't need blood now. I can live without drinking blood, and blood never even tempted me. Not once since I had decided to starve.

As I stared into my abnormal eyes from the reflection in the river, I saw several questions flash as my intuition kicked in, but the only question I really focused on and had an answer to was if I had really just seen him...

Yes; that was Edward Cullen the love of my existence.

More sobs over took my body, and I felt a blanket being draped over my hunched shoulders. Part of my mind scoffed at the idea of me getting cold, but I just pulled the blanket tighter as arms wrapped me in a tight embrace crying along with me, and then I looked up into a pair of shining gold eyes that were boring into my midnight blue ones.

**How do you like it?**

**i got some great reviews for chapter 1, and i love them, but i got a bunch of story alerts so i know you can do better. so please review when you read each chapter. thanks.**

**review.**


	3. I'm Dreaming

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**First thanks to Wintermoth for reading over and correcting my last chapter.**

**I am such a bad author. I had this written for like forever and never put it up. I am really sorry that I took so long. Well actually I took months, but still. Most of you will probably hate me even more for the twist I made in the story. I thought about it and thought that this was the best way to go in my story. It will get better and I have an idea for future chapters. I would also like to point out that I had messed up wording my other chapters. I meant for Bella to be able to cry actual tears. Not just dry sobbing. My BFF pointed it out to me when she noticed that my idea for the story and what I wrote was different. I will be changing that. Sorry for the long AN.**

Chapter 3- I'm Dreaming

BPOV

Now I knew I was dreaming. No way in h*** would Rosalie Hale ever be here of all places. Much less hugging _me_. Not if my life, no, not if _her_ life depended on it. Only I my wildest dreams would she ever be here hugging me, and crying with me.

I only ever daydreamed about _him_. Now I knew I was finally crazy, because not only did I dream about running away from him, but I also dreamed that Rosalie Hale, the ice queen, the one Cullen who hated me more than anything was here _with me_.

I knew that they would all realize in time that I was worthless, and not necessarily hate me, but Rosalie figured it out before everyone else, and made a point to make me feel unwelcome. I was just not prepared that it would come so soon. I mean I knew, but I still wasn't prepared.

I wasn't prepared that Rosalie's sister, my past, I choked up even more on thinking that word, best friend would leave as well. Her bubbling pixie self was just so crazy that I thought she might see past all my flaws and keep me around. But I guess she got bored of playing Bella Barbie and has probably found a new toy to play with by now.

It took all the strength I had to stop crying for a few seconds and pinch myself. Even the dream Rosalie stopped crying to watch me. I pinched myself as hard as I could trying to get me out of my unreal fantasy and back to reality, where I was probably still kneeling in front of my grave with the sweet, stupid- and now dead- flowers.

My eyes widened in shock as Rosalie stayed in place. I frowned. This was going to be harder than I thought. I closed my eyes tightly then opened them to see if she disappeared yet. "Nope," I said out loud and popping the p for a little emotion. It didn't work! She was still there.

"I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming," I chanted to myself out loud. I saw understanding flare in her eyes at my words. Then guilt. But then they settled on determination.

She hesitantly put her hand on my cheek, and I knew before she even started speaking that I was not dreaming, "Bella?"

All she got out was my name before I started crying all over again. She arranged me into a better position on her lap, before crushing me gently to her. I knew that I should have pulled away, that she was cruel and her actions were just a ploy to break my heart all over again. But deep down I didn't believe that. I clutched myself closer as I cried. She stroked my hair as I cried, tears streaming down my face.

"Come on, Sweetie. Let's get you dry and out of the rain," she spoke softly to me. I had not even noticed that it had been raining because my tears had wet her shirt thoroughly already. With that, she carefully and gracefully picked me up. She cradled me to her chest as she ran. I didn't know where she was taking me, and I didn't care at this point. I had my head buried in her shoulder, and only looked up when I felt her placing me on something soft. Then I realized that it was a bed. A large king-sized bed that I was now getting wet. I sat up, trying to get off the bed before I did any damage, but Rosalie gently pushed me back down.

"Just stay put for now ok sweetie?" she said in a motherly tone that I had never heard from her before.

I tried to speak, but couldn't get out a proper sentence. I couldn't even get out one word. But Rosalie seemed to realize my intentions as she put two fingers to my lips.

"Shh sweetie. We'll talk later, but right now let me get you something to wear."

She was gone for only a second, but when she returned, her arms held a midnight blue turtle neck sweater with ¾ sleeves, and some slim dark blue jeans as well as undergarments. She also had a couple towels and a pair of silver ballet flats.

I just stared at her while my mind reeled with questions. Her face showed compassion as she picked me up in one arm while she carried the clothes in her other arm. She walked into an adjoining bathroom, and put down the clothes articles on a chair. She turned the water on in the shower, and then set me down carefully, but still held on to me supporting most of my weight. She helped me get undressed and then once she was sure that I would not collapse she helped me into the shower.

My body moved without me thinking about it, and grabbed the bottle of shampoo that Rosalie held out for me. I blankly washed all the mud from the river off my body, and my mind only woke up when I started using the shampoo. It was my strawberry shampoo!

My brain started to function and my senses seemed to come alive again. I rinsed the rest of the shampoo out of my hair and then turned off the water. I stepped out of the shower and took the towel Rosalie handed me and wrapped it around my body. She pushed me into another chair, and then took the second towel and started drying my hair.

When she was done, she ruffled my still damp hair, and then brought a blow dryer to it. She hummed while she worked, and I closed my eyes just listening to the bell like tones to all her melodies. Soon she started to hum a lullaby and I froze.

Rosalie seemed to be oblivious to my reaction to that familiar lullaby as she turned off the blow dryer and started brushing through my long, dark brown, somewhat wavy hair. I was proven wrong though, as she wiped away the tears leaking out of me still closed eyes. She gathered me into her arms once again and crushed me to her chest like _he_ used too.

"Shh Bella. Don't cry sweetie. I didn't know it would bother you. I'm sorry. But you can tell me anything now, okay? I will be here for you. You can ask me anything. But let's get you dressed first. We'll do some talking in a bit okay?"

I nodded solemnly at her. If she had told me that I could tell her anything when I was human, I would not have believed her, but now I knew I could trust her. I wanted to tell her what happened. I wanted someone in my life again. It gets boring after being on your own for 77 years without contact of any sort. I had a lot of questions for her, and I'm sure that she has a lot of questions for me.

She finished wiping away the last of my tears, and then stood me up. She gently placed the bundle of clothes in my arms and then walked back to the bedroom to let me change. I quickly threw them on not bothering to look at myself in the mirror. No clothes could change the fact that I am unlovable. I walked out of the bathroom to where Rosalie waited sitting on the edge of the bed.

She smiled at me when I entered the room and said, "Now there is the beautiful Bella I had known before."

I gave her a half-hearted smile as I crossed the room to her. I couldn't fault her for trying to be nice no matter how false her claim was. I sat next to her on the bed and she put her arms around my shoulders.

"Ready to talk?" she asked in a soft, gentle voice. I looked at her beautiful and now sweet face. Her eyes showed nothing but compassion and guilt.

I took a deep steadying breath. I slowly nodded and then began to speak.

**I can't promise frequent updates because I have a lot going on in my life right now. The reason that I posted this story was because my best friend wanted me to. But now she isn't here to really encourage me to really write, and my time and life have been messed up a lot. If you really want me to continue with this story please review because I have chapter 4 almost done. If you want any more excuses ask and I will give them to you. And for the record I hand write each chapter before I type it up and it gets boring to retype it. I would like to give a special thanks to my ice hockey teammate for actually being the main reason for me continuing this. I love you #2! And yes girls play ice hockey.**

**Sorry and review to tell me if I should continue, stop, if you have any ideas, or just feedback of any sort. This will be a shorter AN next time.**

**~7HSVO7~**


	4. More Power

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Okay well I worked hard all night trying to finish this chapter to get it out for you guys today. I felt really bad since most people thought I was dead and so I wanted to update as quick as I could.**

Chapter 4- More Power

BPOV-

Right before words started falling from my lips, I changed my mind. I didn't want to tell her how hopelessly lost I was when they left, just to hear her pity. I didn't want to give her a reason to tell me how _he_ no longer loved me. How _he_ thought I was a stupid human, a waste of his time, and _he_ realized when he left _me_ that _he_ was so much better off.

I would tell her my story, but I wanted to hear hers first. Once she tells me hers, I would tell her mine. But I would be ready before she knew my story. I looked up into her worried and was that compassion in her eyes? Nah, it couldn't be. And that was when her whole face opened up to me. I just looked into her eyes, and it was like they flickered blue. An ice blue that I was told was her eye color when she was human. I didn't see anything but her blue eyes, but I was filled with this knowledge of how much pain she had been through. I didn't see any happiness, or rather sense any, but I could feel her past depression and despair, and I could sense who they were at and what happened that caused it.

I wanted to free her from it, to save her from all the negative feelings coursing through her past. And I could feel my body absorbing that pain. And her blue eyes seemed to clear right before my very own midnight blue ones. My mind seemed to know, that while my own body absorbed her pain from her memories, she still wouldn't forget them. But she wouldn't feel the onslaught of negative emotions that she originally would have if she dwelled on them.

The sound of her gasping pulled me from my connection with her eyes, and her past. I blinked a few times, and then shook my head. That had never happened before, but my mind seemed to know exactly what it means. Carlisle would have been interested in this. I cringed when I thought of Carlisle.

"Bella?" Rosalie's voice broke through to me and stopped my mental dwelling. I looked at her fully for the first time since I experienced what happened when I fully looked into her eyes. She was breathtaking. Not that she wasn't breathtaking before, but she seemed to glow. Her entire being seemed to have this aura around it that radiated with in a way joy. It was like a whole layer around her was being pulled away and left her more free and glowing!

I could not stop staring at her and she seemed to get the point because she got up swiftly and made her way to a gull length mirror that was on the door to what appeared to be a closet. I heard her gasp and stop breathing as she took in her glowing aura. I let it sink in for a while and then decided that I had waited long enough.

"I think I just discovered the extent to my powers," I said quietly. Rosalie seeming to forget what I was jumped in surprise startled. Vampires very rarely got startled and to see Rosalie get startled made this very funny. I started laughing. Rosalie got over her shock quickly though and went over to sit by me her face pouting. I continued to laugh in her face. But then she got an evil glint in her eye and that shut me up really quick.

"Rosa…" I was cut off when she flew at me. She landed on top of me and her hands were tickling me. I had been extremely ticklish in my human life, but I never thought that it would be one of the traits I kept as a vampire. I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"Rose….stop!" I managed to gasp out, but she just giggled and continued her tickling assault. I squirmed under her, trying to push her off of me. I couldn't get my arms under her to lift her off of me. It seemed like ages though was probably only minutes later when she finally finished her attack. It was my turn to pout at her.

"What? I like the sound of your laugh. It reminds me of the time Edward used to _smile_! I stared at her blankly. What did she mean by the time he _usedi to smile_?

**Sorry that this is so short, but like I said I wanted to get a chapter out for you guys. I am not really sure about this chapter. I made up the extension to her power on the spot and at the time it seemed like a good idea, but I am not so sure. I would love your feedback. Any ideas for this story are welcome and please leave a review. They really make my day. Okay I have to run to school now because if I miss my LA play I fail the entire term. The thing is I don't think anyone wants to put on the play. Wish me luck.**

**~7HSVO7~**


	5. My Story Your Story

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**If you have any questions with what is happening in the story just ask. And if it is confusing my first paragraph is Bella talking to herself.**

Chapter 5- My Story Your story

BPOV-

What did she mean by _used_ to smile?! Wasn't he happy? Didn't he find a new toy? Doesn't he have a mate? Or does he miss m… stop it Bella! You are just setting yourself up to get hurt again.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked me when she realized I spaced out. I think she also saw the look of confusion and doubt on my face, "I think that it is time I told you my story."

I nodded for her to continue.

"Edward," I winced when she said _his_ name, "was a wreck when he left you. He locked himself in his room and only came out to hunt when it was necessary. He stopped listening to music and he stopped playing the piano. He just lied on his couch staring at the ceiling. He as humans call it was a "couch potato" except he didn't gain weight and he didn't do anything. He just lied there. We couldn't get him to talk and it got so bad that Jasper had to leave with Alice for a little bit because of his depressed emotions.

"He grew even more remorseful after he had driven them from their home but still did nothing! He was an empty shell. Living but not there. Alice and Jasper both got homesick and had to come back. Jasper felt bad because he thought that he was the reason for making Edward leave, and Alice was depressed because Jasper was depressed. The whole family was even more depressed about losing you because of Jasper's power! We moped all day long.

"Alice then decided to take drastic measures, drastic for Alice anyway, and took some of your old clothes out from where she hid them. By old clothes I mean the sweats that Alice hated you wearing and though she destroyed most of them, she felt the need to keep some of them. She wanted you to have some memory of your life before we came into it and how much of a fashion disaster you were. I am not going to apologize because she was right!"

I laughed a little at that but on the inside I was reeling. Was she joking or did they really miss me? Did they really want me and did they just leave because Edward didn't want me anymore and Edward was their first? But then why was Edward sulking?

"Alice gave Edward your clothes and just your scent made his mood brighten a considerable amount. He was still depressed but it made it a little more bearable for Jasper and everyone to be around him. But when we heard of your death he completely fell apart. He tried to go to Italy!"

Rose broke off choking with emotion. I was devastated. The thought of Edward killing himself terrified me. I remember one of the last moments of our time together was of him telling me about the Volturi. They were the ruling vampire family and made sure all the vampires followed the rule. This was only that they tell no one that vampires exist. He had said that when I die he would go to Italy where the Volturi lived and ask them for death. He said he would provoke them if he had to. I had told him then that he would never be allowed to do it. But of course he never listens to what I _really_ want.

"He made it to the front door of the house before Emmett and Jasper tackled him. Alice had a vision of him going and our family wouldn't have it. We trapped him in the house for months until he finally admitted defeat. We were scared Bella. We were scared at how much your death was affecting our family. _I_ was scared. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until we left and then even more until you died. I feel extremely guilty for being mean to you. I should have spoken to you more. I should have acted like the sister I wasn't. I am your sister Bella. I may have not acted like it, but I was and we were all family. You made us whole like we have never been. I felt extremely guilty for being mean and then for being jealous. I was being childish but I was jealous."

Rosalie looked down ashamed but I just giggled at that last bit. She looked up at me weirdly. After just confessing how guilty she felt and how broken her family was and I was giggling!

"I'm sorry Rosalie. It's just the fact that you were jealous of me of all people! Come on! You were jealous because Edward thought I was prettier than you. Don't you know that you are the most gorgeous female being in existence? I don't even compare to what you look like. And I already know you felt guilty about that afterwards. I have forgiven you long ago for being mean and I forgive you again now."

Rosalie looked at me confusion clear on her face, "How did you know all that. And how did you know I felt guilty before I told you?"

"I think it has something to do with my power, but you have to finish you story first."

Her confusion cleared up and she looked a little impressed and curious. "Well after he gave up he went back to Forks. He went straight to your grave and vowed that he will always be there to protect your remains and make sure nobody disturbs you. You can kind of call say that he makes sure that your soul will rest in peace in heaven. And then everyday he would put a bouquet of flowers over your grave an…"

I cut her off, "He is the one who is putting those stupid flowers on my grave?!"

Rose looked shocked at my outburst, "Yes. He still does it today. Most of the flowers are always freesia but sometimes he will put some other flowers with it. We all moved back to Forks and have been here since. We would go to school and after we all graduated we would hide out in our house for a few decades then go to school again. But Edward has been coming home angry lately. He feels angry and upset that he can't seem to stop the person who is disturbing or so he thinks your peace and is destroying the flowers. Oh!"

Realization seemed to dawn on Rose as she spoke those words. "You are the one destroying the flowers on your grave!" I gave a little nod and a wry smile as a response, "but why? I think that it is sweet him. Why would you destroy the flowers, and how did you do it? He still hasn't figured out how."

I chuckled a little. Of course he hasn't figured out how I kill them. Only I can do it and only I know about it. Well not for long. "I use my power to kill the flowers, but you need to know my story first. Then I will tell you my power. Yes it is sweet of him. I didn't know it was him that left the flowers. But…" I hesitated. I didn't really know how to say this.

"Go on," Rosalie encouraged me, and then she gave a bright cheery smile and squeezed my hand.

"I didn't want to be remembered," I said bluntly. She was surprised and stiffened. I ripped my hand from hers and got up from the bed to stand in front of her. "I was dead before Victoria found me. I wanted to die. Edward leaving destroyed me! I would not eat, sleep, listen to music, talk, heck I didn't even talk to myself. Victoria changing me just encouraged all that. Did you know that this is the first time I actually came out from my change? This is the first time I have been around other vampires, humans, even animals. Everything avoided me in the woods, and I avoided everyone else. But after waiting 77 _years_ for him and repeating his words in my mind, I gave up.

"I couldn't live that way forever, so I decided to finish school the way I did when I was human. Depressed and silent. I bought my old house and everything! Because it doesn't have any neighbors around it for miles I can do that. I went to my grave for the first time since I "died" and when I saw the flowers I lost it! I started crying and I had to run deep into the woods out of the public eye and I threw a fit! I destroyed trees and when I finally calmed down enough to sit down, I discovered my power. It was only part of my power, but it gave me a little something to actually be excited about. I tested it out later and will talk more about it later.

"Anyway, I went back to my grave and killed the flowers. I didn't move them but I gave them a quick touch and they died instantly. You see I didn't want anyone to mourn my death. I didn't want people to miss me. I didn't want people to love or care about me when I didn't even love or care about myself. I went back the next day and again the stupid, beautiful flowers were there! It annoyed me deeply and again I touched them and killed them. I went back to my grave everyday just to kill flowers! I…"

I got cut off by Rosalie throwing herself at me and crying. She enveloped me in her strong embrace and we both collapsed to the floor. I was crying along with her but not as hard. I really had not realized how much I had missed having someone around.

"Rosalie?" I mumbled while we clung to each other.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Please don't leave me. I won't be able to stand it if you leave. I really missed you all a lot and I have missed have someone around."

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry. Of course I won't leave you. I wouldn't leave my sister, and Bella you are my sister and you now need me. We didn't know leaving would have this affect on you. We, well with the exception of Alice thought that leaving would keep you safe and from turning into one of us. I know that you wanted it, but as you probably already know I also felt jealous that you were human and had a whole life in front of you while mine was taken from me by force. You were just willing to give up everything you had and you didn't know how lucky you were to have had what you had! I know Edward said that he was leaving to protect you bu…"

I flinched at his name again and then cut her off quickly at that last sentence, "No! _He_ said he was leaving because he didn't love me anymore! He said that _I_ wasn't good for him! He…"

"What! What do you mean? He told us he told you that…"

Rose was cut off by a door opening downstairs with a bang. And then we heard talking from the open door. Rose quickly extracted herself from our grip on each other and ran to close the door. She locked it just as a fist was pounding on the thick piece of wood, trying to open it again. I was frozen like a deer caught in the headlights. I finally realized where I was and the terrifying part was that, their home! I started gasping quickly and Rosalie came back to me quickly and started rubbing my back soothingly. The pounding on the door never ceased.

"Shh Bella. That's just Emmett. They all went hunting, but I left them to go after you. I saw Edward rushing to the graveyard and then I caught your scent. Honestly Edward is an idiot for not recognizing it as you scent. It is just as sweet as before but not in a food kind of way.

"The doors and walls are sound proof. The family thought to have it better that way because of Emmett and our umm activities." I had to give a chuckle at that.

"What about your thoughts?"

"I am not always vain believe it or not. I just don't like Edward in my thoughts." She snorted at that. I had to laugh a little bit more. Now I knew why Edward always thought of her as selfish and vain. "We don't have to open the door. Emmett will go away eventually and we can finish talking okay?"

I bit my lip thinking quietly for a second, my brow furrowed, "No," I took a deep breath, "let him in."

**Okay I was working all night on this chapter and it is now the longest chapter I have written yet for my story. Also I am trying to update a lot more often than I did before and I know a lot more of you read my story. I love all the reviews I am getting now but I know a lot of you are not reviewing. I would love it if those who don't review could take 30 seconds to write a short review good/bad anything will do. I just want feedback and to know where people want my story to go.**

**~7HSVO7~**


	6. Emmett's Threat

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks for all the reviews last chapter. They really made me happy. I was furious and the reviews actually cheered me up. Sorry I really planned to update a like a month ago, but I had gotten really sick and missed 2 weeks of school and I just could not bring myself to write. Then I had so much homework to catch up on and tests to study for I had no time. I am also being kicked of my computer for about a week. I am really sorry and hopefully will have my updates more regular when I get out of school June 26. Which means I will try to update more when school gets out.**

Chapter 6- Emmett's Threat

_Previous:_

_I bit my lip thinking quietly for a second, my brow furrowed, "No," I took a deep breath, "let him in."_

BPOV-

I bit my lip again. Rosalie looked at me hesitant for a second, before going straight to the door. I knew she missed her husband, and I was already burdening her enough. In a split second she had the door open, and before Emmett even had a chance to speak she had yanked him through the door, and then closed it again with a snap, quickly locking it again.

I quickly assessed him before he realized I was there, but I desperately hoped that he would recognize me. I really missed my big brother though and he not remembering me would crush me bad. Though it would not crush me as bad as Edward leaving me.

He turned to face with a puzzled expression on his face. But Rosalie was not looking at him, she was looking at me. She probably wanted to gauge my reaction to him being in the same room with me. Emmett stood there looking at Rosalie for a second before he followed her line of vision, and stopped on me. He just stood there staring at me like he was trying to process what was in front of him.

Then before either of us could even blink he came charging at me screaming, "BELLA!!!" at the top of his lungs and then picking me up in his usual bear hug and spun me around so fast that if I was human I would have gotten dizzy. I would have also probably gotten motion sick and threw up though there was nothing in my stomach to throw up. I was pretty sure that I heard some objects in Emmett's path break and that was before I heard Rosalie stop laughing and screech at Emmett.

"You idiot! You broke my mirror!"

I looked around the room, and saw that there was more broken than just the mirror, but it seemed to fit that that would be the thing Rosalie cared about most. I giggled a little at that. Rosalie quickly stopped her tantrum and looked at me a small smile gracing her beautiful face and she started to laugh along with me. Emmett, who was still holding me, picked Rosalie up as well and clutched us both to his massive chest while he let out his big booming laugh.

I let out a little giggle at his silliness, but I could feel my eyes getting a little wet at having my big brother back again. At least for a little while, I still wasn't sure why they were being so nice to me and why I was actually here. I had never thought that I would be back in this house, much less with my old family in it. I do not think I could bear them leaving me again. Now that Rosalie is actually nice and motherly and my silly brother Emmett is actually here. It would truly damage my heart so that there would be no chance of fixing it. The hole in my chest had closed up a little just by being with some of my old family, but I knew the person that would completely fix the hole in my chest did not love me and would not be near me.

With that thought I stopped laughing and started sobbing all over again. Rosalie started stroking my hair mumbling soothing words in my ear as Emmett cradled me to his chest after putting Rosalie down. Then as if his small brain just comprehended what was going on he asked, "You can cry?!" I just continued sobbing into his chest as if that was answer enough and then he stated, "I am going to kill you."

"What?" I squeaked just as Rose shouted, "What?!"

**Sorry this is a short chapter. I will get a longer chapter out next time, but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting. I got so many alerts and favorites so thank you guys so much! Please keep reviewing I really want to get to 100 reviews. Oh and check out my poll please. It has to do with this story because I am just curious. Don't answer if you feel uncomfortable.**

**ஐ****7HSVO7****ஐ**


	7. Emmett has a Brain

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Thank You guys so much! You got me to 100 reviews! Okay everyone right now say, "Happy Birthday Edward!" Today is June 20, Edward's Birthday so I just had to update. Again I am so sorry that it is so short, but I had my laptop taken away from me and I really wanted to update so I have like 15 minutes to type this chapter so here it is.**

Chapter 7- Emmett has a Brain

_Previous:_

_"I am going to kill you."_

_"What?" I squeaked just as Rose shouted, "What?!"_

BPOV-

Okay Bella breathe. You are going to be all right just breathe. I kept chanting to myself like a mantra in my head.

Emmett crushed me even tighter against him and I really thought he was going to kill me. I squirmed in his grip and got my hands on his chest and then just like I did with the flowers, I gave him pain. Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to shock him and to lose his grip on me.

I quickly shoved my way out of his arms and ran to Rosalie hiding myself in her embrace. Her arms wrapped around me tightly and protectively while she glared at her husband not even fazed by what I had just did.

I peeked through Rosalie's arms to see Emmett picking himself up from where he had collapsed when I had pushed him away. He had a shocked expression on his face before his big goofy grin reappeared.

"My little sis has an awesome power!" he yelled whilst jumping up and down like a little kid clapping his hands like he just heard he would be getting a cookie, "and she can fight!"

Apparently I wasn't the only one confused by Emmett, because Rosalie's glare turned into an expression of confusion. My face must have mirrored hers because Emmett pointed to our faces and started laughing in our faces. He was laughing so hard that he fell to his knees and was rolling around the floor in laughter for a good seven minutes before picking himself up and trying to compose himself.

"You honestly think I would kill you Bellsy?" he asked turning my name into something a little kid would say.

Rosalie's grip tightened on me and as I looked at her face I saw her glare returning. Just being in her arms made me feel protected. It made me feel like I had a mother again. Emmett took a good look at her face and his little laughs quickly subsided and his expression turned serious and remorseful.

"You are a part of our family. My little sister and now Rose's too. Though she seems to see you as more of a daughter right now," he stated his face soft and his eyes showing his love and affection toward us, "we love you very much. What I had meant to say was… leave and I will kill you. I am not having our family torn apart and broken up again. I will not let you leave."

I looked at him wide eyed trying to comprehend what he said. Did he really want me to stay? He turned to Rose and said, "See Rosie, I am perceptive." With that statement Rose and I snorted and burst into laughter. I guess maybe Emmett did have a brain after all.

**Again thank you guys so much for the reviews. Keep reviewing, and I hope to have some more stories up when my school ends June 26****th****. So I will try to update more when school gets out and will also update when I put my new stories on fanfiction and hope that you guys will read them. Again vote on my poll please. Happy Birthday Edward!**

**ஐ****7HSVO7****ஐ**


	8. Drowning

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will, so want to.**

**I got nominated for the Golden Chocolate Awards! I am so excited so if everyone could please vote for me July 26****th****. The link is: http://goldenchocolateadwards(dot)webs(dot)com/voting(dot)htm**

**I am so sorry! I really meant to update sooner, but I was a little stuck on what I wanted to happen in Bella's point of view so I worked on my other fanfiction ideas so I could put them up on fanfiction. A reviewer asked me if I was going to do anymore Edward point of view's and then I thought that I would do another Edward point of view for you guys. Also, I posted another story so please check it out. It is called Lucky Number Seven.**

Chapter 8- Drowning

_Previous:_

"_Then she was gone. I could hear her light footfalls getting farther and farther away from me as she ran. I ran to her grave, placed down the flowers I had in my hand, and the collapsed as my body shook with my dry sobs, as the shock and hurt and impossibility of it all took over me."_

EPOV-

I continued to shake for another minute while my brain processed everything I just saw. It could not possibly be Bella. Why would Bella destroy flowers on her own grave?

_Because she likes to suffer alone._ The rational part of my brain said.

_But why would she run? Why would she run from me? Does she really hate me that much? Why am I sitting here? I need to be going after her!_ All of my questions and all of my thoughts focused on one thing. And that was to go after my precious Bella and tell her I loved her, to ask for her forgiveness.

I jumped to my feet in the matter of seconds that it took me to focus all my thoughts. All my questions were still nagging at the back of my mind as I started running in the direction I had last seen her. I sniffed the air trying to catch her wonderful scent which was so much like her human scent of freesia and lavender and strawberry.

Then I heard a clap of thunder and it started to rain. I mentally cursed this tiny town for raining almost constantly while I pushed my legs to go faster than I had ever run before. I needed to find her before the rain washed away the trail her scent left.

It started to rain harder and I saw a bolt of lightning hit a tree. I could immediately smell the smoke from where it hit but it was raining so hard that it had no hope of igniting. The smoke from the bolt no matter how insignificant it was clouded my senses. I could not pick up her scent! It was fading with the rain.

I stopped immediately. I lost her. I couldn't find her. And I felt my will crumbling again. I started running again at a slower pace trying to catch her scent or see some sign that she had passed through here, but the rain covered up anything she might have left behind.

I ran through some more trees and found myself near a river. I walked to the water's edge my shoulders hunched and with the last of my effort gone I crumpled to the ground with my last piece of hope shattering and my heart breaking again with it.

I looked at my reflection in the river and could see why she ran from me. I was a monster. I was not worthy of her love or to love her. I was lucky enough to get a first chance with this angel. How could I ever have thought that I could catch her and have another chance with her?

I punched my reflection letting the pain course its way through my body. My body began to shake as I was overcome with my cries. I shook as I cried for Bella, for my reason worth living. I cried for breaking up my family and I cried for being turned into this monster. I cried for not being able to cry tears as I shook with dry sobs.

I felt myself choking and gripped at my chest. I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to be drowning. And with that thought I fell over the edge of the river and let the water pull me under. I let the currents from the onslaught of rain bash me through my body against rocks. I closed my eyes and let the water have its way with me.

**Please go vote for my story July 26****th****. The link is: http://goldenchocolateadwards(dot)webs(dot)com/voting(dot)htm**

**Also nominations are open on luv-edward cullen-forever's award site. Check it out and nominate a favorite story of yours. The link is: twilightawardsforme(dot)webs(dot)com**

**Sorry it's so short. Again thank you so much for the reviews. I respond to each one of them so feel free to give ideas or ask any questions. Please Review and go check out my poll. And please tell me if you like me doing Edward's point of view or if I should stick with Bella's or if I should alternate. I would really appreciate the feedback. Please check out my other story Lucky Number Seven. Thanks.**

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	9. Never Again

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will, so want to.**

**I am so sorry! I really meant to update sooner, but life happened. My excuses are at the bottom if you want to read them. I won three awards for this story so thank you everyone who voted for this story and all the things I won are on my profile. Anyway, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!**

Chapter 9- Never Again

_Previous:_

_I felt myself choking and gripped at my chest. I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to be drowning. And with that thought I fell over the edge of the river and let the water pull me under. I let the currents from the onslaught of rain bash me through my body against rocks. I closed my eyes and let the water have its way with me._

EPOV-

I felt my body start to float and fought to keep myself submerged. I thrashed around creating more waves in the already rippling river. I felt my back hit the rocks at the bottom of the water and dug my fingers into the ground keeping me anchored at the bottom. I closed my eyes tight, trying not to feel. I didn't want to live my life, no my existence anymore. I wanted to be human. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

I felt someone grab my ankles and drag me up from the bottom, the rocks crumbling beneath my hands in my effort to stay rooted beneath the water. I was pulled up and dragged onto the land. I was released and then enveloped by another pair of arms. I heard Esme's soft sobbing as she held me close to her. I completely fell apart in her arms. I threw my arms around her pulling her closer as I sobbed in her arms, dry sobs that wracked through my body as I sobbed harder and harder. I felt her pull me even closer as she cried with me. She just held me there as the rain poured down on us and gently started rocking me back and forth as she stroked my hair.

For the first time I let my family see my real pain. I let my mom comfort me in a way that only she could. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I couldn't suppress how much it broke my heart every second to have her away. I pined for her when I left her. I needed her in my arms again, but knowing she was safe I kept myself away. I thought she would be happy living a human life. She would grow up, meet a human man that made her happy, have children and die after having a nice long life. She didn't need me to damn her to this hell. To be a monster who could only live off of killing others. But no matter how much I thought she was happy and that this was better for her, I yearned to see her face, to smell her tempting blood and to hold her in my arms again and never let go. To kiss those full lips and see her delicious blush knowing I caused it.

But now she was dead. I should have been there to protect her and its all my fault. I had kept myself away from my family hiding the pain of my separation from her and knowing that she thought I didn't love her, but I never planned to live in a world where she didn't even exist. As soon as I tried to run, to end my pitiful existence they were there, led by Alice. I was in no emotional state to fight Emmett and Jasper and no matter what I did I couldn't get away. They held me and Alice kept constant watch on my future. I couldn't be with my love again and it was tearing me apart. I hid in my room and moved every month to go on a short hunting trip before enclosing myself in my room again drowning my sorrows in music. Loud music that I would have never listened to before but now it seemed like I had everything in common with. Songs like Going Under by Evanescence. I wallowed in my own self pity. I mourned for Bella, my sweet, beautiful Bella. I mourned for the fact that my family was falling apart in front of me and it was my entire fault. I pushed them away from her and had them leave a daughter and a sister behind. Jasper was an emotional wreck from the emotions of the whole family combined. I ruined their existence.

Now she was dead I could never hold her in my arms again. I would never see her or have her smell call to me with the tempting smell of freesia's and strawberries. I would never be there to catch her when she falls. I wouldn't be the one that makes her smile and I would never get to see her beautiful eyes lit up before me again. I would never understand her and her love of old books. I would never see the love in her face ever again. The worst part was that she died thinking I didn't love her. She died with a broken heart that she didn't even have a chance to mend and I was left with her hurt face in my memories for the rest of eternity. My last memory of her was when I broke her. When I crushed her soul and I had to live forever more with the guilt of lying to a beautiful angel who did nothing but give me everything she could. I had taken her for granted and now I would never be able to make amends. I would never be able to tell her how much I love her. I had finally found the missing piece in my life, and I never knew how big of a piece I was missing until she filled that empty gap in my dead heart. But when I gave her up I left my heart and my entire life with her, and now my heart has died with her and my life is no more.

The only thing I can possibly do now is to make sure she is never forgotten, so she can rest in peace. To have flowers surround her in death so she knows how much she was, is and always will be loved. But I can't even do that right. Every flower I put down dies, and every memory that comes with it are taken by the person tarnishing her grave and I can't stop it. The one thing I have left and I can't even do it right. So now I lay here in my Esme's arms, sobbing my heart out for the girl I had and could never have again.

I didn't even realize I was speaking until Esme's calming voice spoke up over the howls of the storm, "Sh. Its ok let it out. I've got you you'll be alright. You will make it through this. Shh," she tried to sooth me, but it didn't work.

All I could hear was myself mumbling automatically, "She's gone, she's gone, I love her, it's my fault, she's gone, I love, I miss her, I need her, she's gone, my fault, she's gone," over and over repeating those small phrases over and over while my mom tried to sooth me. We just let the rain consume us as we sat there together. Soon I felt the others that were silently watching our actions sit down around us. Not saying anything, but just watching. And then I finally started to calm down with the soothing presence of my family around me. I hated hurting them, knowing how much they cared about me, but I would never be complete again. My other half, my better half was now gone but I still had my family and for now that was enough to calm me but only just. Later my pain would come back full force but for now I just lay in my mother's arms surrounded by those who actually care for and about me as the rain continued to fall in torrents, streaming down our faces so that we looked like we were actually crying.

**Sorry it is so short, but we are having visitors soon and I need to update my other story. I will try to update at least one story every weekend. I know it is not much and you guys deserve a lot more but I have moved up a level in school and my finals are coming up soon. Thank you to everyone who has been patient and to everyone who will hopefully keep reading. I have another story that I will be posting on New Years, and have another story that I need to update. So I hope everyone has a great holiday, and please review. I know I don't deserve it but it would make me incredibly happy. As a holiday gift maybe?**

**My excuse list for those of you who want to know-**

**-school**

**-homework**

**-studying**

**-ice hockey practices**

**-ice hockey games**

**-I got sick**

**-I have been helping my parents**

**-I have close to no time anymore and what I have I read all the story updates I get on my email.**

**-7HSVO7-**


	10. Did She Leave?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will, so want to.**

**Hey Guys!!! Sorry, but I have been busy and so I finally got the time (ok well a long weekend, I am sick, and my arm is in a brace but whatever) to write. So this might be the last chapter, because I have other story ideas and I have no time for any of them. So I am finishing this so I can finish my others and focus on school. Anyway on with chapter 10 and Bella's POV!**

Chapter 10- Did She Leave???

_Previous:_

_"You are a part of our family. My little sister and now Rose's too. Though she seems to see you as more of a daughter right now," he stated his face soft and his eyes showing his love and affection toward us, "we love you very much. What I had meant to say was… leave and I will kill you. I am not having our family torn apart and broken up again. I will not let you leave."_

_I looked at him wide eyed trying to comprehend what he said. Did he really want me to stay? He turned to Rose and said, "See Rosie, I am perceptive." With that statement Rose and I snorted and burst into laughter. I guess maybe Emmett did have a brain after all._

BPOV-

But then my laughter cut off abruptly as I recalled what he said. About me being a part of their family and their sister. I was not, I once may have been, but that changed the moment _he_…. the moment Ed…. The moment Edward walked out of my life. If I was not good enough for him, if I was not good enough for the Greek God, then why would I ever be good enough to be in their family?

I was delusional. I was so caught up in Rosalie being nice; I didn't realize that it was out of pity. I had never wanted pity and that was why I destroyed the flowers every time I was there. I really was losing it. I can't even tell the truth from the lie anymore! I believed that he loved me, and then I believe that Rosalie would actually care about me. I am an idiot!

Before they realized what was happening, I had yanked myself out of Emmett's arms and was on the other side of the room staring at them with hate. How could they? Why did they delude me into thinking that they actually cared again? And they just stared at me with confused looks. Did they think I was that stupid? But I couldn't talk. I could only stare at them accusingly with the tears back and streaming down my face.

I saw Emmett's lips move, but the anger I felt blocked out what he was saying. I was angry. I had been hurt and they just build me back up, piece me back together just to tear me back down again? No, I could not go back to the heart ache. I can't live that way again. I wouldn't live that way again. But I still couldn't speak to them either. It hurt just to look at them. Before I knew it, I was running to the door, only to be blocked by Rosalie. I snarled at her, but she stayed put. I heard Emmett coming up behind me and like lightning I was at the window, smashing the glass and falling from the second level to the ground. I saw Emmett jump out after me and quickly flipped so I could land.

However, before I could turn over completely and land safely on the ground a pair of arms encircled me. I was held so my back was to his chest, so he couldn't see my face. But I knew who it was. I didn't need to see the person who was holding me, because the electricity running between me and my captor told me everything. I tried to get free, but he just held me tighter, so tight it was almost painful. I needed to escape! His scent was intoxicating and if he didn't let me go I would lose all the fight I had left in me. As much as I was hurt, I still loved him. There was no denying that. I couldn't live without loving him, but he didn't need to know that.

"Why are trying to deface my life? Why!" his velvet voice hissing in my ear made me freeze in shock. I hadn't heard his voice in 77 years! I finally get to hear him when it is not in my dreams, and it is when I am running away. I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't take more pain! He didn't want me and I would not stay here by hurting him. I would leave. He will never have to see me again. With that realization, I started up my struggling again.

Edward was having trouble holding me and I managed to squeeze out of his grasp and got a few feet away, before I spun around. I needed one last look at him before I finished the job of ripping out my heart. I heard five gasps and saw five speechless vampires in front of me. Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper's mouths were all hanging open. Edward's reaction would have been comical if I wasn't saying good bye. His eyes which were once accusatory and furious changed to shock and then hope? In just a second, but I didn't stay long enough before I was off running again in the opposite direction. I had only gone five steps, before a hard body tackled me to the ground, effectively pinning me under his heavy body.

"Emmett!" Rosalie screeched, "why the hell did you tackle her?!" Before she could scream anything else at her oaf of a husband, I felt his weight being lifted off of me. I looked up to see him being thrown away from me, and to see Edward looking down at me. He moved to help me up, but I quickly backed away from his touch. Hurt flashed across his face and the pain in his eyes stayed unmasked. He wasn't trying to hide anything from me and it was killing me.

"Bella?" he whispered so quietly that I almost didn't hear the agony in his voice. I just gazed deep into his onyx eyes, they were not the soft gold that I had known and got to love. I whimpered from my place on the ground and tried to stop the tears from rolling down my face. He started to advance on me again and I scurried away from him again. He froze where he was, his hand outstretched.

I yearned to reach out and grab a hold of him and never let go, but he didn't want me. He was just upset that I was still alive and his time was wasted at my grave. Who could ever want me? Even as a vampire I was ugly, still a stupid plain Jane. I would never be good enough for anyone vampire or human, but most of all I would never be good for Edward.

Everyone around us was frozen, just watching. Even Emmett was frozen and he was stuck in the middle of a tree that Edward had thrown him into. Rose was staring out from her bedroom window with her hands clenched on the window frame. I needed to say sorry. I had to tell him good bye. In other words, I needed to speak one last time.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry I wasted your time. I'm sorry that I appear back in your life when I am supposed to be dead. I am sorry for all the pain that I had caused you. I am sorry for all the pain that I had caused your family," I stopped to take a strangled breath, and to try to stop my voice from breaking so I could continue, "I am not sorry that I still love you. I will always love you. Good bye. I will never bother you again. I'm sorry."

My heart broke with every word I said, and his face got more tortured as I went on. I scrambled to my feet and started backing away from him, from all of them. He reached out for me again and I backed away faster shaking my head.

"Bella," a strangled cry left his lips. He would have been crying if he could but for what I don't know.

I couldn't take anymore. I turned around and fled. I heard everyone scream my name, but I ignored them. I heard him running after me, and pushed my legs even faster. If he caught up I would never have the will power to leave again. I touched every tree in my path and transferred a little pain to them so that they fell down, slowing his attempt to get me. I ran until I couldn't hear him anymore and even then I kept running. I kept running and I didn't stop. I couldn't stop.

The pain kept building and eventually I collapsed, in the middle of a forest fire. I just laid there on my back facing the sky, but I kept my eyes closed. I imagined his face, his eyes, his hair, his lips and the way they felt on mine. I almost believed my imagination was real as the flames closed in around me. I could even hear him calling my name. It couldn't be real. And as the flames licked closer to my body I felt someone lie beside me and take my hand holding it in theirs. I could feel lips pressing into mine for one last time and electricity tingling on my lips and my hand.

They pulled away, but stayed beside me and caressed my face. If this was a dream I was in heaven. I opened my eyes, and I lost myself, for the last time as I gazed into the softest pair of golden eyes filled with love. I just stared and he stared right back as the flames consumed us, but the pain I was expecting didn't come. All I felt was peace. And now I will finally be worthy of that gravestone. And with Edward by my side it will be a gravestone of two lovers.

**Sorry it's so short. But I have limited time. I hope that you enjoyed this and I am sorry, but there will be no epilogue. Please check out my other story Lucky Number Seven. Thanks. Oh, one more thing…April Fools!!! (ok due to alot of confusion, this is a fake chapter and the real chapter 10 will be posted soon). **

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	11. My Mistake

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will, so want to.**

**Ok yeah. School gets out the 21****st**** for me, and I have been studying and working on project after project. So just bear with me on the not so frequent updates and this summer it will be more frequent. I also have been suffering from slight writers block so sorry. This chapter is dedicated to French Shark for making me see that I really have to update and for making me laugh while doing it. But seriously, isn't anyone on my side? You even took the physics! Anyway, on to the real chapter 10 and sorry for giving people a scare last chapter, but I wouldn't kill off my favorite book characters now would I?**

**2****nd**** A/N: I planned to update I really did, and this was all written, but then I lost internet, my laptop started having problems and my dad couldn't help fix it until last night, so I am really sorry. I wasn't able to post. I have limited internet right now and am on as much as I can which is not a lot. So I am really sorry about infrequent updates. I hope that people are still reading this story as well as my other ones. Oh and as an additional note, I adopted a story which I will be posting soon as well.**

**3****rd**** A/N: Ok I got home and internet and then I was swamped with school. Then I had some medical problems and had to go to the hospital and some medical testing and what not. So here it is I will try to update once a week or every two weeks.**

**Happy Birthday AliceDianaBrenner! This chapter is dedicated to you as well.**

Chapter 10- My Mistake

_Previous:_

_All I could hear was myself mumbling automatically, "She's gone, she's gone, I love her, it's my fault, she's gone, I love her, I miss her, I need her, she's gone, my fault, she's gone," over and over repeating those small phrases over and over while my mom tried to sooth me. We just let the rain consume us as we sat there together. Soon I felt the others that were silently watching our actions sit down around us. Not saying anything, but just watching. And then I finally started to calm down with the soothing presence of my family around me. I hated hurting them, knowing how much they cared about me, but I would never be complete again. My other half, my better half was now gone but I still had my family and for now that was enough to calm me but only just. Later my pain would come back full force but for now I just lay in my mother's arms surrounded by those who actually care for and about me as the rain continued to fall in torrents, streaming down our faces so that we looked like we were actually crying._

EPOV-

I lost track of the time as I lay curled in my Esme's arms. My eyes were closed, and I have long stopped crying, but now I just lay almost numb except for the kisses I could feel my mom press to my forehead every now and then.

I didn't deserve her love. I had hurt her time and time again. First with me leaving during my rogue years, then with not having a mate and now the most inexcusable, tearing apart her family. I have hurt everyone but I have hurt Esme the most. Even though my love was Alice's best friend, she was like a daughter to Esme. She tried to hide her pain and she masked it well, but I could still read her thoughts and Jasper could always feel her emotions. She had already lost a child once, and now I just made her lose another.

I made Carlisle disappointed for he saw Bella as a daughter too. He wanted to protect her like a father should and make sure she was always treated when she was hurt. He worried about her almost as much as I did, except his reasoning was for her own safety. My reasoning was pure selfishness, but I worried about her so I wouldn't have to lose her. But I saw what I was doing. I was distancing her from her own race, from other humans and my love for her won over my own selfish needs to keep her with me.

I couldn't change, she had the most beautiful soul I had ever seen and I could not destroy it. I would not let her look at me with hate for changing such a beautiful and perfect and selfless angel into a monster like me. I couldn't do this to her. I needed to keep her safe and I wasn't safe. I dwelled over this a lot, but I can't help but going back to my reasons for leaving. That justified my reasons for leaving her. I did the right thing didn't I?

All I could do was remember her smiling face and the joy she brought to my family. The hurt everyone felt all the pain that my decision created. It was all enough for me to question my decision. It was almost like the person destroying those flowers, those beautiful flowers that didn't even compare to my Bella, was yelling at me. I could hear her yelling that it shouldn't have been this way. That she was too young had too much life in her and it was my fault. Not a sound had been made but it slapped me in the face loud and clear.

Their sent taunted me, a more concentrated scent of freesias. Like my angels. It was there every time I visited. It was always in my head from my beautiful and painful memories, or from my mysterious tormentor who tarnished my memories and brought it back.

I opened my eyes to the small drops that seemed to wash away my vision and restore a different one, a clearer sight that I should have had a long time ago. It was like I could see everything clearer, yet everything just became more confusing.

I looked out across the river and on the other side I could make out two small impressions in the mud. Fog seemed to be coming fast and swirled its way around me and my family and I could almost see two outlines of the women who seemed to have kneeled and cried in the same position Esme and I were in now. Each holding each other and crying, but when they looked down their reflections wouldn't show back monsters and then they would ripple, not from the rain, but because their tears would actually fall and obscure their vision.

**Sorry it's so short again. I am sort of a little stuck on Bella's POV so I just left it with Edward's POV. I know I don't have the right to ask this, but I would appreciate reviews, even if it is to yell at me for my crappy updating. Please check out my other stories. I will be updating everything soon. Everyone have a good vacation or rest of school years or whatever you have now. **

**Again, happy birthday AliceDianaBrenner, you are seriously the best friend in the world, but if you made that phone call you will be demoted. And you need to tell me so I can make a plan of action.**

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	12. Bella's Lullaby

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will, so want to.**

**I know it has been over a year, and for those of you wondering, Castiel brought me back from hell so I can finish this story (next chapter dedicated to the person(s) who knows where the reference came from). I'm so sorry guys…I haven't been feeling myself but I Promise I will update more frequently for those of you that are still reading my story, if any one still is. This is unedited.**

Chapter 11- Bella's Lullaby

_Previous:_

_I looked out across the river and on the other side I could make out two small impressions in the mud. Fog seemed to be coming fast and swirled its way around me and my family and I could almost see two outlines of the women who seemed to have kneeled and cried in the same position Esme and I were in now. Each holding each other and crying, but when they looked down their reflections wouldn't show back monsters and then they would ripple, not from the rain, but because their tears would actually fall and obscure their vision._

EPOV-

What I wouldn't give to be a human again and be able to die a quick death! I would get to be with my love once again and my family could move on. No more moping Edward to hold everyone back. No more grieving Edward influencing Jasper who in turn influenced everyone else. Humans die all the time, why would anything be different? But it _was_ different. It wasn't just a human we mourned. We mourned for an angel who seemed to be able to look beyond the fact that we were soulless.

We are far different than humans, along with the obvious looks and physical abilities, be also had stronger emotions than humans, we loved stronger than humans and hated with more passion than they could handle. However, we were also frozen in time. Therefore, it took something stronger than what even we vampires possessed to change that. Bella, she changed me and there was no turning me back. She took me in her hands like I was putty and molded me into a new person, and I wouldn't change that for the world. If there was anything I could do different it would be to save her, not change myself.

I should have been there to save her! Why wasn't I there? I wasn't there because I told her the worst of all lies; I told her that I didn't love her, just so I could leave her defenseless? What had I done? Why did I leave her? I knew she was a danger magnet, why did I ever think she would ever be safer without me? Where was the logic? Why am I only realizing this now and not 77 years ago when Alice had tried to smash the logic into my head. I ruined our family for nothing. By being around I could have extended her life, I went through medical school, I could take far better care of her than anyone!

But it's all too late! 77 years too late. Nothing can take back what has been put in motion now, but the most heart wrenching thing is that if I could redo it, I think I would have changed her. No life without her is worth living and to be a vampire is what she wanted. She didn't want to be damned; she just wanted to be with me forever. Why couldn't I let her? In what twisted way does my mind think? Why wouldn't I let an Angel be with me? She was an angel in every sense of the word. From the way she said my name in her sleep to the way she pouted every time I pulled away from our kisses, to the way she fell asleep to her lullaby, curled into my side and so innocent.

I started to hum her lullaby for the first time since I left her and for the first time in those 77 years I had the urge to play. To press the delicate keys and hear the melody that would flow out of my sleek, black grand piano. I needed to hear the melody I created just for Bella.

I heard Esme catch her breath when she heard me humming and before my mind caught up with my body, I was out of her arms and running back to our home. I knew it was rude of me, but I could stop this pull in my chest that kept pulling me to the house. I crashed through the front door before I even registered being home and was at my piano uncovering the keys in the next second. I sat down at the bench and blew the dust off. This was the only thing in the house that Esme didn't clean. Whether it was to respect me or just because of her memories I don't know. However, a tuning would definitely be needed. But for now I just sat and held my fingers above the keys as if to play, but for some reason I could not make them move. They knew the melody but I couldn't move my fingers.

I took a deep breath trying to clear my thoughts and I swore I could smell the sweet scent of freesia. Now my thoughts swirled with the scent and my fingers started to move as if compelled to by the smell, but then stopped. It was as if I had forgotten how to play. I tried again but I could not get any farther into the song. I tried again and again and eventually I heard my family come in and sit down just watching me as I tried and failed at every attempt to play.

Then I heard a door open and all of a sudden the smell of freesia was strong in the room, more potent than the flowers had ever been. I heard the multiple gasps of my family all around me, but I couldn't bring myself to turn. I needed to hear her lullaby and I needed to play! I tried again and I still couldn't do it. The last time I played for Bella she was sitting tucked into my side, she was encased in my arms as the music surged around the two of us. But now the notes sound like a hollow ring of what they used to and all because of some twisted logic I made up 77 years ago.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my back and my fingers managed to play past the part I kept getting stuck on. The hand moved up to my shoulder and then up my neck, it cupped my cheek and I couldn't help but lean into the familiarity of it all. The music turned sad as I recalled who the hand reminded me of and then unbearably sweet when the person moved to sit beside me. Throughout the whole song the person didn't lose contact with me, even though I felt the person shaking with suppressed sobs. I continued until I hit the last note, before closing my eyes and turning my head to see if what I felt was just a figment of my imagination. I don't know what I would do if she wasn't real. I hope this wasn't some twisted, sick kind of joke because my broken heart wouldn't be able to handle it.

My head still faced her, but my eyes remained closed. I could feel my lips trembling with the anticipation, the need, and the fear. All of a sudden I felt lips upon my cheek, warm familiar lips and the scent of the person so close to me I had no doubt in my mind who this was. I heard a sigh of disappointment. Why would she be disappointed? She deserves to be happy and her every wish should be met! I felt her move to get up and I started to panic, I reached blindly out and realized I still had my eyes closed. They snapped open and I quickly grabbed the retreating figure around the waist and pulled her back to me. She gasped and turned as she fell into me.

Then I saw her face and time froze.

**Again I am so sorry! I tried to make it longer than usual for you guys that are still reading but this is all I came up with. Sorry it's so short again. I am sort of a little stuck on Bella's POV so I just left it with Edward's POV. I really have some major writers block. **

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	13. In My Head

**Disclaimer: If I write a book I will let all you guys know. Right now everything belongs to S.M.**

**Sorry for the lateness. ****I suck at updating as you guys know, but my life is busy, and it keeps getting busier. I hope you guys will stick with me and keep reading. Back to Bella's POV! This chapter is unedited.**

Chapter 12- In My Head

_Previous:_

_"You are a part of our family. My little sister and now Rose's too. Though she seems to see you as more of a daughter right now," he stated his face soft and his eyes showing his love and affection toward us, "we love you very much. What I had meant to say was… leave and I will kill you. I am not having our family torn apart and broken up again. I will not let you leave."_

_I looked at him wide eyed trying to comprehend what he said. Did he really want me to stay? He turned to Rose and said, "See Rosie, I am perceptive." With that statement Rose and I snorted and burst into laughter. I guess maybe Emmett did have a brain after all._

BPOV-

Our laughter had just subsided when I heard the door slam before opening and closing again, this time more softly. Rose turned to Emmett with a confused look on her face.

"What was that Hun?"

Emmett looked at her blankly for a moment before he seemed to remember something, "oh right! Edward was having another mental break down, but I left him with Esme when I came looking for you and I found two. See I rhyme! Get it? You and two! You and Baby Bells!" He said the last bit with a proud expression.

Rose looked at me before smacking her forehead with her palm. However, what he said about Edward stopped me from laughing.

"Emmett, what do you mean Edward was having another breakdown?"

"Oh right, sorry, he was trying to drown himself, but I guess he forgot he doesn't need to breath or something," he replied nonchalantly.

"He was trying to drown himself? Why?" I looked at Rose alarmed.

She just looked back at me solemnly before sitting on the bed and patting the spot beside her. I sat next to her and then she turned to face me and took my hands in hers. She just stared at me and I thought back to our previous conversation, before Emmett showed up.

_***This is their conversation from chapter 5 it will be in italics so if you don't want to read it again you can skip ahead. I thought it would be a good refresher***_

"_Bella?" Rosalie asked me when she realized I spaced out. I think she also saw the look of confusion and doubt on my face, "I think that it is time I told you my story."_

_I nodded for her to continue._

"_Edward," I winced when she said his name, "was a wreck when he left you. He locked himself in his room and only came out to hunt when it was necessary. He stopped listening to music and he stopped playing the piano. He just lied on his couch staring at the ceiling. He as humans call it was a "couch potato" except he didn't gain weight and he didn't do anything. He just lied there. We couldn't get him to talk and it got so bad that Jasper had to leave with Alice for a little bit because of his depressed emotions. _

"_He grew even more remorseful after he had driven them from their home but still did nothing! He was an empty shell. Living but not there. Alice and Jasper both got homesick and had to come back. Jasper felt bad because he thought that he was the reason for making Edward leave, and Alice was depressed because Jasper was depressed. The whole family was even more depressed about losing you because of Jaspers power! We moped all day long._

"_Alice then decided to take drastic measures, drastic for Alice anyway, and took some of your old clothes out from where she hid them. By old clothes I mean the sweats that Alice hated you wearing and though she destroyed most of them, she felt the need to keep some of them. She wanted you to have some memory of your life before we came into it and how much of a fashion disaster you were. I am not going to apologize because she was right!"_

_I laughed a little at that but on the inside I was reeling. Was she joking or did they really miss me? Did they really want me and did they just leave because Edward didn't want me anymore and Edward was their first? But then why was Edward sulking?_

"_Alice gave Edward your clothes and just your scent made his mood brighten a considerable amount. He was still depressed but it made it a little more bearable for Jasper and everyone to be around him. But when we heard of your death he completely fell apart. He tried to go to Italy!"_

_Rose broke off choking with emotion. I was devastated. The thought of Edward killing himself terrified me. I remember one of the last moments of our time together was of him telling me about the Volturi. They were the ruling vampire family and made sure all the vampires followed the rule. This was only that they tell no one that vampires exist. He had said that when I die he would go to Italy where the Volturi lived and ask them for death. He said he would provoke them if he had to. I had told him then that he would never be allowed to do it. But of course he never listens to what I really want._

"_He made it to the front door of the house before Emmett and Jasper tackled him. Alice had a vision of him going and our family wouldn't have it. We trapped him in the house for months until he finally admitted defeat. We were scared Bella. We were scared at how much your death was affecting our family. I was scared. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until we left and then even more until you died. I feel extremely guilty for being mean to you. I should have spoken to you more. I should have acted like the sister I wasn't. I am your sister Bella. I may have not acted like it, but I was and we were all family. You made us whole like we have never been. I felt extremely guilty for being mean and then for being jealous. I was being childish but I was jealous."_

_Rosalie looked down ashamed but I just giggled at that last bit. She looked up at me weirdly. After just confessing how guilty she felt and how broken her family was and I was giggling! _

"_I'm sorry Rosalie. It's just the fact that you were jealous of me of all people! Come on! You were jealous because Edward thought I was prettier than you. Don't you know that you are the most gorgeous female being in existence? I don't even compare to what you look like. And I already know you felt guilty about that afterwards. I have forgiven you long ago for being mean and I forgive you again now."_

_Rosalie looked at me confusion clear on her face, "How did you know all that? And how did you know I felt guilty before I told you?"_

"_I think it has something to do with my power, but you have to finish you story first."_

_Her confusion cleared up and she looked a little impressed and curious. "Well after he gave up he went back to Forks. He went straight to your grave and vowed that he will always be there to protect your remains and make sure nobody disturbs you. You can kind of call say that he makes sure that your soul will rest in peace in heaven. And then everyday he would put a bouquet of flowers over your grave an…"_

_I cut her off, "He is the one who is putting those stupid flowers on my grave?"_

_Rose looked shocked at my outburst, "Yes. He still does it today. Most of the flowers are always freesia but sometimes he will put some other flowers with it. We all moved back to Forks and have been here since. We would go to school and after we all graduated we would hide out in our house for a few decades then go to school again. But Edward has been coming home angry lately. He feels angry and upset that he can't seem to stop the person who is disturbing or so he thinks your peace and is destroying the flowers. Oh!"_

_Realization seemed to dawn on Rose as she spoke those words. "You are the one destroying the flowers on your grave!" I gave a little nod and a wry smile as a response, "but why? I think that it is sweet him. Why would you destroy the flowers, and how did you do it? He still hasn't figured out how."_

_I chuckled a little. Of course he hasn't figured out how I kill them. Only I can do it and only I know about it. Well not for long. "I use my power to kill the flowers, but you need to know my story first. Then I will tell you my power. Yes it is sweet of him. I didn't know it was him that left the flowers. But…" I hesitated. I didn't really know how to say this._

"_Go on," Rosalie encouraged me, and then she gave a bright cheery smile and squeezed my hand. _

"_I didn't want to be remembered," I said bluntly. She was surprised and stiffened. I ripped my hand from hers and got up from the bed to stand in front of her. "I was dead before Victoria found me. I wanted to die. Edward leaving destroyed me! I would not eat, sleep, listen to music, talk, heck I didn't even talk to myself. Victoria changing me just encouraged all that. Did you know that this is the first time I actually came out from my change? This is the first time I have been around other vampires, humans, even animals. Everything avoided me in the woods, and I avoided everyone else. But after waiting 77 years for him and repeating his words in my mind, I gave up. _

"_I couldn't live that way forever, so I decided to finish school the way I did when I was human. Depressed and silent. I bought my old house and everything! Because it doesn't have any neighbors around it for miles I can do that. I went to my grave for the first time since I "died" and when I saw the flowers I lost it! I started crying and I had to run deep into the woods out of the public eye and I threw a fit! I destroyed trees and when I finally calmed down enough to sit down, I discovered my power. It was only part of my power, but it gave me a little something to actually be excited about. I tested it out later and will talk more about it later. _

"_Anyway, I went back to my grave and killed the flowers. I didn't move them but I gave them a quick touch and they died instantly. You see I didn't want anyone to mourn my death. I didn't want people to miss me. I didn't want people to love or care about me when I didn't even love or care about myself. I went back the next day and again the stupid, beautiful flowers were there! It annoyed me deeply and again I touched them and killed them. I went back to my grave everyday just to kill flowers! I…"_

_I got cut off by Rosalie throwing herself at me and crying. She enveloped me in her strong embrace and we both collapsed to the floor. I was crying along with her but not as hard. I really had not realized how much I had missed having someone around._

"_Rosalie?" I mumbled while we clung to each other._

"_Yes sweetie?"_

"_Please don't leave me. I won't be able to stand it if you leave. I really missed you all a lot and I have missed have someone around."_

"_Oh Bella, I am so sorry. Of course I won't leave you. I wouldn't leave my sister, and Bella you are my sister and you now need me. We didn't know leaving would have this affect on you. We, well with the exception of Alice thought that leaving would keep you safe and from turning into one of us. I know that you wanted it, but as you probably already know I also felt jealous that you were human and had a whole life in front of you while mine was taken from me by force. You were just willing to give up everything you had and you didn't know how lucky you were to have had what you had! I know Edward said that he was leaving to protect you bu…"_

_I flinched at his name again and then cut her off quickly at that last sentence, "No! He said he was leaving because he didn't love me anymore! He said that I wasn't good for him! He…"_

"_What! What do you mean? He told us he told you that…"_

_Rose was cut off by a door opening downstairs with a bang. And then we heard talking from the open door. _

_***END of flash back from chapter 5***_

I didn't believe her then. I thought she was just saying those things to make me feel better. But did he really leave to protect me? I know he thought that he was always putting me in danger, but does that mean he did love me? That he always loved me? Did he lie to me that day? Rose was shocked when she heard what he told me. Maybe there's hope after all. Maybe I have found my family again and maybe I will have my mate again. Now that hope is rekindled and if it is all a cruel lie I won't recover!

I looked at Rosalie with my face stained with my tears again and I conveyed my thoughts through my eyes. I was always an open book and I knew she could see this new revelation. She just nodded in the direction of the door and that was when we heard it, my lullaby. It sounded hollow and broken but it was still my lullaby. But it never finished. I head the player play it again and again but he couldn't get past the beginning. It was as if he was trying to play some long lost melody and couldn't get it quite right.

Rose then gave me a gentle shove towards the door and this time I didn't hold back. I walked slowly to the door, but before I opened it I looked at Emmett. He needed the freedom too. I looked my Brother bear in the eyes and grabbed his hands. I absorbed his pain, I felt and just _knew_ what he had been through, like with Rosalie. Then I dropped his hand and ignoring his gasp I opened the door. I would let Rosalie show Emmett his new glow and let them bask in their joy in privacy.

I stepped out and then I headed towards the sound of the piano. I let the haunting noise guide me and soon I found myself staring at him, at my love, at Edward. I would not let fear overcome me, I would let my heart lead and I found myself walking closer to him as he struggled to continue with the song. I ignored the gasps of his family as I walked forward and then when I reached him I put my hand on his back. I needed to touch him, to make sure this was real. He froze for a second and I heard him inhale deeply. I could feel his muscles relaxing and he started to play again.

His playing brought back memories of when he played for me, with me snuggled into his side with my head on his shoulder. I couldn't hold back, I needed to feel him with me and so I sat next to him but my hand never left him. He finally got past the beginning and now I just listened to the haunting melody as I struggled not to cry. I kept my eyes trained on his fingers and then his face.

My God he was beautiful. My memory could never do him justice. His presence, his smell, everything brought back memories that I struggled to keep at bay. And then my lullaby was winding to a close. His face turned towards mine but he kept his eyes closed. I willed him to open his eyes, he had to know I was there; I had to know if he wanted me there. I could see his lips trembling, but we just sat like that, and he never opened his eyes. I leaned over and kissed his cheek but still he kept his eyes closed. I couldn't deny it now. He knew I was there and he couldn't look at me. I gave a small sigh of sadness before getting up and starting to walk away, walking away from my heart. It would always be his.

I hadn't even gotten a few paces away before I felt strong familiar arms wrap around my waist and pull me back to them. I managed to turn around before I went crashing into his hard chest and looked at his face. His eyes were open and they were burning into me. I could see the hope, the panic, and the love in his eyes. I stared into the eyes of my love, my heart, my mate and he was all I could see.

**Another chapter for you guys. Again I'm sorry for my less than desirable updating skills. I'm not sure if I want the story to go on or if I want to make it short and sweet. Let me know if I should end it soon (tie up any loose ends) or extend the story (continue on with a bit of their lives).**

**ஐ****7HSVO7****ஐ**


	14. Ashley

**Hey Everyone! I know this is not an update and I am soo sorry for the wait. A new chapter will be up soon. I just talked to my friend today, months ago she told me that her friend needed a double lung transplant and that her family could not afford it. They have been trying to raise money and I found out that they don't have enough, and Ashley is dying. She had a first double lung transplant at 15! She became diabetic due to complications. A few years later she needed a kidney transplant. Now she needs another double lung transplant. Please, please send this link to anyone you might know! Tell them to read her BIO and to keep sending this on. Anything helps!**

http:/transplant . org/donate/ashleydias


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